


Why Do They Hate Me?

by AvatarNia



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, Gen, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Maria Reynolds deserved better, Susan Reynolds deserved better, The Reynolds Pamphlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:28:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26111143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvatarNia/pseuds/AvatarNia
Summary: On August 25th, 1797, twelve-year-old Susan Reynolds learns about the torrid affair Alexander Hamilton had with her mother all the way back in 1791Featuring Susan being an innocent cinnamon roll, Alexander Hamilton Junior being an asshole, and Aaron Burr being an amazing father figureWritten in ‘honor’ of the 223rd anniversary of the Reynolds Pamphlet
Comments: 1
Kudos: 20





	Why Do They Hate Me?

Even though the August sun shone brightly in the sky, the dingy alleyways located in the heart of Albany remained cloaked in relative darkness. The blazing heat turned the usually cold and damp corners of the winding streets into blazing furnaces. This road from hell seemed to stretch for miles and miles with no end in sight. Another thing the unyielding temperature affected were the countless piles of trash that had been lying around untouched for many years. The smells of decaying animal carcasses, rotten food, and other unpleasant excrements, which had been uncaringly dumped in the slums and forgotten, all meshed together to form an unbearable stench. All was quiet, except for the sound of light footsteps echoing around the slim alley, bouncing off the grey, stone walls. 

A young girl, looking no older than thirteen and seeming so out of place in her bright, maroon-red clothing, was nearly silently making her way down the narrow road. She was desperately trying to hold her breath for as long as she could, only allowing herself a single inhale once or twice every minute. Pressing a palm to her nose and mouth would have made her long trip through the alleyways much easier, but both her hands were busy holding up the hem of her dress, not wishing to ruin it by dragging it through the mud and dirt. The ungodly cacophony of smells collecting around her had clouded her mind, intrusive thoughts telling her to give up and stay in the gallows forever. And yet, she pushed on. 

_Come on, Susan, just a little bit further._

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Susan saw light at the end of the tunnel, or rather, the place she called home standing a mere thirty feet away from the alleyway entrance. Gathering every remaining part of her strength, she ran the last few meters and emerged from the alley and into the warm sunlight of the familiar streets of Albany. She doubled over, frantically gasping for breath and hungrily gulping down the fresh air as if someone was going to take it away from her. A quick glance around confirmed that no people were there to see her, making her sigh in relief. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she rushed across the road and disappeared behind the tall fence of the Burr residence.

The back door had, thankfully, been left open. Almost as if Aaron Burr, her foster father, knew that she was going to take the long, more hidden way home, even though that particular decision had been completely impulsive on her part. Impulsive, yet necessary. After all, no one walks down the gallows unless the gallows are safer than the main road. 

Susan locked the back door firmly behind her and slumped against a nearby wall, completely exhausted from the hour or so she spent navigating her way through the endless alleyways. She knew Albany like the back of her hand, yet the dark, cramped streets were a near-complete mystery for her. From what she knew, she was extremely lucky to not run into anyone. God knows what could have happened to a young, barely twelve-year-old girl like her, 

Suddenly, everything that happened that morning came rushing back to her. She remembered barely stepping into the town square and witnessing dozens of newspaper boys waving around fat stacks of yellowish papers, too far away for her to read the title. That didn’t matter though, seeing as the newsies were all chanting the same few phrases over and over again, giving her a very clear idea of what the papers were about.

_“The Reynolds Pamphlet!”_

_“Have you read this?”_

_“Alexander Hamilton had a torrid affair, and he wrote it down right there!”_

A sinking feeling formed in the pit of her stomach as she processed what she had heard. Reynolds wasn’t an uncommon last name by any means, and yet she knew exactly who the pamphlet was aimed at. Her suspicions were confirmed as a nearby newsie read out the first few lines of the wretched document.

_“The charge against me is a connection with one James Reynolds for purposes of improper speculation. My real crime is an amorous connection with his wife for a considerable time with his knowing consent.”_

She flinched involuntarily as she heard the name. To this day, James Reynolds remained the only person she has ever been truly afraid of. To the casual observer, the statement would have sounded rather ridiculous. What reasons could a girl possibly have for being frightened by her own father? 

The answer to that question was only ever known by six people. One was Susan herself. Another two were her parents, James and Maria. The next two were Aaron Burr and his daughter, Theodosia Burr Junior, who were the remnants of her foster family. The last one, Theodosia Burr Senior, had died three years prior. So few people had even a slight semblance of the horrors that had been going on behind the closed doors of the Reynolds household for the first six years of Susan’s life, and for another two years before that. If the small scar under her left eye, or the larger one that ran across her collarbone, or the dozens of other old scratches and bruises littering her entire body were anything to go by, Susan thought she had a pretty good reason to be afraid. 

Her mind drifted to the author of the pamphlet. She had heard about Alexander Hamilton before, of course. Everyone in America knew of the ex-Secretary of Treasury, the right-hand man of the now-retired General-turned-President George Washington. If Susan had a dollar for every time her foster father went on a long rant about ‘that obnoxious, arrogant, loudmouthed bastard’, she would be richer than the King of England. What she didn’t know until that exact day, was that way back in the summer of 1791, Alexander Hamilton cheated on his wife with a young woman named Maria Reynolds. A woman who just so happened to be Susan’s mother. 

The reason Susan chose to go through the immense heat and impossible stench of the narrow alleyways instead of the sunny, crowded main streets of Albany, was because of the hate. Many people in the city knew her as Susan Reynolds, the best friend of Aaron Burr’s only daughter, Theodosia, and it didn’t take long for them to put two and two together. 

_Slut. Wretch. Hooker. Harlot. Daughter of a whore. Just like her mother. Just like her father._

That was just a fraction of everything she heard that morning. Most people had the decency to whisper between themselves, but a few individuals weren’t afraid to shout exactly what they thought of her. Copies of the pamphlet were flung at her head, and she thanked her quick instincts for being able to dodge most of them. She was met with outraged glares everywhere she went, and she figured out that she wouldn’t be able to take her usual path back to the house she lived in. The timely appearance of Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton in the town square took the attention away from the young girl just long enough for her to slip into a nearby alley and start the long trip home, away from the once-kind people who were turned against her by a single pamphlet.

A low thud coming from the living room brought Susan out of her reverie. Aaron Burr was still at work and Theodosia was out god knows where, so the noise was made by something, or someone, else. She made her way over from the kitchen just in time to see a rolled-up piece of paper flying in through the window, which had been knocked open by a small pebble. Part of her already guessed what was written there, given the long-kept secret involving her mother that had come out that day, but she picked it up and unrolled it anyway. There, written in black ink by someone with very messy handwriting, was a single word.

_Whore_

“Hey, Reynolds!” Susan looked up to see a boy similar to her in age, who she vaguely recognized as Alexander Hamilton Junior. He stood out on the street, behind the white picket fence, and was glaring daggers at her. “Pass a thank you for ruining my parents’ marriage to your whore of a mother!” He ran off without another word, leaving Susan to read and reread the single word on the small piece of paper.

The word burned into the back of her mind as she remembered a part of her childhood she long wished to forget. Memories of the endless hours she spent hiding in an old wardrobe, listening to her father taking his anger out on her mother. Hearing him call her the very same slur that was now written on the paper in her hand. The reminder about the first few miserable years of her life was enough to send her over the edge to an emotional breakdown. No longer being able to take it, she fell to the floor in a disheveled heap as her grief poured out in a flood of uncontrollable tears.

A great tremor overtook her as the salty liquid started to race down her cheeks, leaving glistening trails in its wake. Her small, frail frame wracked with an onslaught of sobs that tore through her chest, making her throat tighten and her lungs forget how to intake air. She curled in on herself, pressing her knees closer to her body and practically drowning in her wails. It had been years since she cried properly, always being the type to keep everything in until she physically couldn’t anymore. And that day, that godforsaken day when it seemed like the entire world condemned her for things way beyond her control, was the day she broke. 

That was how Aaron Burr found her a short time later, curled up on the floor, quietly swallowing her tears. Her long hair stuck to her wet face and her red-rimmed eyes were emptily staring off into the distance. Wordlessly, he walked over and gently lifted her up, smiling slightly as she subconsciously nuzzled closer in his arms. He sat down on the couch, placing her in his lap, a somber expression gracing his features.

“You know about the pamphlet, don’t you?” 

“Uh-huh,” She mumbled, turning her head so she could meet his dark brown eyes. “Mr. Burr, why do they hate me?”

“W-what?” To say that Burr had been taken aback by her question would be an understatement.

“I was out in the square this morning when I heard about the pamphlet. There were so many people, and they were all looking at me like I was the devil himself. They- they threw things at me, and called me awful and cruel names that I’m not allowed to repeat. I only got away because Mrs. Hamilton showed up.”

“Oh, Susan…” Burr sighed and ran his fingers through Susan’s brown curls, like he used to do to Theodosia when she was younger. It broke his heart, seeing the girl he cared so much about, the girl he had raised since she was a young child, look so small and fragile and broken. She didn’t deserve any of the hate she was getting, and neither did her mother. They were both unfortunate victims of horrific circumstances.

“Why do they hate me?” Susan repeated, her voice sore and raspy. “I _never_ asked for this! I _never_ did anything wrong! I always tried to be as good of a person as I can, and all I get in return is this!” She unclenched her fist, revealing that she was still holding onto the piece of paper.

Burr audibly gasped when he read the single word written on it. “Where did that come from?”

“Alexander Hamilton Junior tossed it in through the window and told me to thank my mother for ruining his parents’ marriage.” She sat up abruptly, seething with newfound anger. “He acts like _I’m_ to blame for _everything_ that happened! Like _I_ was the reason his father decided to cheat. I _couldn’t_ have had a part in some ‘scheme’ even if I wanted to! I didn’t know about any affair. I was six, I was a _child_!”

“You still are, sweetheart. Just because you’ve been through so much and grew up so quickly doesn’t mean you’re not a child anymore. You only turned twelve last week, remember?” He placed a hand on her shoulder and coerced her to lie back down.

“Yeah…” Her lip quivered, and yet she had no tears left to cry. Tension and anger seeped from her body as she relaxed, fully realizing just how exhausted she was. Through her tired haze, she glanced at her foster father one more time. “Have you heard from my mum yet?”

“I have. She sent an urgent letter to my office today.” Burr winced as he remembered the unhappy news he would have to share with his young charge. “She said that she can’t even go outside without someone verbally- and sometimes physically- attacking her. She thinks it will be safer for her if she leaves for a while.”

“What- what are you trying to say?”

“Susan, she’s… she’s moving away to London.”

“She’s leaving me behind again?” The girl whispered, chocolate brown eyes filled with disbelief.

Burr wiped away a stray tear from Susan’s cheek. “She would take you with her if she could, but you know she lost custody of you after the divorce from your father. She loves you so much, Susan, and she hates not being able to see you. You’re the sunshine in her life, her everything. The only reason she ever took part in that affair was to protect you.”

“Will I ever see her again?” Susan asked in a tiny voice.

“Of course. When you turn eighteen, no one will need to have custody of you. Whatever restrictions the court put in place during the divorce proceedings will be nullified. You’ll be able to go visit her anytime, or even go live with her if you want to.”

“When I turn eighteen… so I have to wait another six years. That’s not as bad as it could be, I guess. I spent six years without her already, what’s six more, right?” She closed her eyes and let herself be lulled to sleep by a song her foster father was humming, a peaceful expression appearing on her face at last.

Aaron Burr, on the other hand, was furious. He had enough issues with Alexander Hamilton on his own, but nothing made him angrier than what that obnoxious, arrogant, loudmouthed bastard had done this time. He published an entire pamphlet, the sole purpose of which was to put himself up on a pedestal as the victim and drag poor Maria Reynolds through the dirt as the perpetrator. Burr was the lawyer who personally got Maria out of the hell that was her first marriage. He was the father figure to young Susan for the past six years. He loved them both with all his heart, and the events of that day made his hatred for Hamilton grow. As he held the sleeping girl in his arms, he swore that one day, he would get revenge on Alexander Hamilton for the pain and embarrassment he put Susan and Maria through.

And, a few years into the future, in Weehawken at dawn, that was exactly what he did.


End file.
